Family, Become What You Are!

“Family, Become What You Are!”
by Anne Keough

At the 32nd meeting of the Bishops of the Church in America in San Antonio, Texas, February, 2004 bishops from the U.S., Canada and Latin America addressed “The Forces that Challenge the Integrity of the Family in America and the Church’s Pastoral Response” (Ecclesia in America, 46).  In this new millennium, the whole American Continent is undergoing profound questioning about the fundamentals of society in general and its foundational unit, the family, in particular, the bishops said.  As a result of their time together, the bishops issued a joint statement “Family, Become What You Are!”  The statement affirms the fundamental value and importance of family.  Family, become what you are is a phrase used by Pope John Paul II in Familiaris Consortio (1982, no.17).  Our bishops have asked us in their statement to reflect upon and become what we are by being:

The Church in the home or the ‘domestic Church
A sanctuary of life
Salt of the earth, light of the world
“Good News” for all the world

None of these requests from our Church are “new”; however, as we reflect upon these reminders perhaps we will realize that in today’s world it is difficult and challenging to make them a reality without good support in place for both marriage and family because as the bishops noted families and family members are confronting ever-growing challenges while the demands of modern-day life impose considerable burdens on parents. We could easily rattle off a myriad of these challenges including those that are striking at the very heart of what and how we have defined marriage and family.  Our bishops see hope even in the midst of ongoing attempts of the U.S. government to change the very way we define marriage and how we are to view the sacredness of marriage and family life.  The bishops   stated: Nonetheless the family endures.  It remains the privileged place where human beings are formed and where children discover the mission that God entrusts to them in the world and in the Church.  In a separate statement written by our Bishops in November, 2003:  Between Man and Woman:  Questions and Answers About Marriage and Same Sex Unions that appears in this insert, we are challenged to think deeply about the meaning of marriage and exactly what our Catholic Church teaches about marriage. 

So, what are our bishops saying to us and how do we as Catholics plan to receive, accept, live and promote their messages?  Can we make a difference one marriage at a time and one family at a time by the way we choose to live, work, pray and play? And, last but not least will our reflection make a difference in the way we think, believe, value, live and participate in church and society as a result of our Catholicity and the teachings of our Catholic Church about life, marriage and family life? 

We need to look at the diversity in family structures, the role of our family of origin, our family of present and our extended family as well as our faith family as we contemplate our bishop’s words because these words are for all families. No matter what our family looks like or how we see ourselves we are called to “become what we are” for God and God’s people. We might also take into account how those who touch marriage and family life each day hear and answer their own baptismal call. Sometimes we need a proverbial “swift kick” or  “gentle nudge” to remind us of “who we are!” 

If we truly hear the words of Pope John Paul II and of our American Bishops, how can we “become what we are?”  How can we take to heart the words of Pope John Paul II in his 1994 Letter to Families where he states that “at the heart of every people and culture, the family is also ‘the way of the Church.”  Might it also occur to us that our Catholic Church will be stronger if our marriages and families are stronger?  And, if we want a stronger and more vibrant church community it has to start with us.

We must not diminish our call to be the domestic Church; the Church of the home, for the family is marked as that originating source in which the love and faith of parents give birth to the life and faith of children.  That energizing dynamic between the children and the parents deepens and enriches the graced faith that comes as a gift through marriage. (Gaudium et Spes, Familiaris Consortio).  It has the mission of being the foremost educator of children.  Despite all its difficulties, the family is to reflect God’s tenderness, faithfulness and mercy. It is to let God’s living Spirit be at the center of the family.  Families are called to make Christ the center of their living, being and doing.  In Familiaris Consortio, Pope John Paul II addresses the role of the family in society as a believing and evangelizing community in dialogue with God.  How do we learn how to do these things? We might begin by looking at how we as the adults in the family unit are answering our baptismal call to love and serve the Lord, tending to our personal journey of faith through prayer and on-going faith formation and to look at what type of “Good News” we are to the people in our family. In order for a family to be a community of life and love it must recognize God in every moment and in every thing; to contemplate God in every person; to seek his will in all that happens.  This is the paschal mystery way of life we are called to live. The dying to self and rising again that happens when we make decisions to love for the sake of others, when we see the sacred in the ordinary of daily life. What better place to be strengthened than in and through our Catholic Church?!  If we are to become what we are, how can decide to make our relationship with God our highest priority and realize the important role of our Church in helping us maintain that priority?

In God’s plan, the family is a sanctuary of life.  It is always a giver of life, of life in abundance (John 10.10), even in its vulnerability.  It is in the family itself that we can find the ‘good news’ of a love that overcomes fear and brings hope to the world. (Pontifical Council for the Family, Manila, 2003)

When a family is founded on a marriage, its life is to unfold around God’s eternal covenant. As couples we might remember the vows we repeated to one another on our wedding day and the promises we made to each other, to God and to our Church.  What more can we do to become what we are in our little church?!  The development of the family is founded upon the mutual exchange of love and support between spouses.  The relationship between parents and children is critical in the formation of both an authentically human person and an authentically human society. (Arcanum, Humanae Vitae, Charter of the Rights of the Family, Rite of Marriage, Familiaris Consortio, Christifidelis Laicis)  Working on our marriage each day is God’s call and plan for us.  What more can we do to intentionally work on our couple relationship so that we can shine forth with the sign of our sacrament, our couple love, as the closest thing in human terms of being a visible sign of God’s love for us and of Christ’s love for the Church.  The Church is there for us to support our married life. How do we take advantage of that support?  How do we as a community pray for and support marriages? 

Our bishops have stated that it is in the rhythm of daily life that families humbly but radically change the world, as they seek to follow Jesus. They transform daily life into an extraordinary meeting place with God who calls Christians to be the light of the world and the salt of the earth. (Matthew 5:13-14) What better ways are there for us to be nourished for being the basic community of believers, the domestic church, bound in love to one another where the dying and rising in Christ is most clearly manifested than through the sacraments of our Church, the incredible opportunities for prayer and worship each day in our parish and the wonderful intentional faith formation processes that are available through our parish community.

Resource:  http://www.usccb.org/comm/archives/2004/04-038.htm